Holding my Heart

My heart is so fast.

It breaks (open) so quickly
and rejoices
and loves
and breaks
(open)

Fragile.

​But is it fragility?
Or is it ferocity?
Or even fear?

Pretending brokenness
& pain
& spentness ...

to not stay hidden.

Because that is what the breaking does:
It opens me.

& Then I am open
and open hurts more than closed but
closed is harder for
ever,

Open is only harder for 
now.

It will pass (the hardness) &

My heart knows it.

Already it passes ...

The blood and water flow off and
there is only the rawness of open

& I am exposed.

My heart beats in the open

Loud
Strong
Unstoppable

So much power

And I can't stand it.

I watch, helpless
Feeling helplessly &

Holding it without knowledge of the next
beat.

It doesn't care
about my helpless-ness.

It is so strong.

It is the strongest heart I know.

And sometimes I am afraid
when I can see it
and sometimes I am grateful
when I can feel it
and sometimes I am stronger
when I can hold it

Open.

Book: My Heart, under 'Strong'