Holding my Heart
My heart is so fast.
It breaks (open) so quickly
and rejoices
and loves
and breaks
(open)
Fragile.
But is it fragility?
Or is it ferocity?
Or even fear?
Pretending brokenness
& pain
& spentness ...
to not stay hidden.
Because that is what the breaking does:
It opens me.
& Then I am open
and open hurts more than closed but
closed is harder for
ever.
Open is only harder for
now.
It will pass (the hardness) &
My heart knows it.
Already it passes ...
The blood and water flow off and
there is only the rawness of open
& I am exposed.
My heart beats in the open
Loud
Strong
Unstoppable
So much power
And I can't stand it.
I watch, helpless
Feeling helplessly &
Holding it without knowledge of the next
beat.
It doesn't care
about my helpless-ness.
It is so strong.
It is the strongest heart I know.
And sometimes I am afraid
when I can see it
and sometimes I am grateful
when I can feel it
and sometimes I am stronger
when I can hold it
Open.
It breaks (open) so quickly
and rejoices
and loves
and breaks
(open)
Fragile.
But is it fragility?
Or is it ferocity?
Or even fear?
Pretending brokenness
& pain
& spentness ...
to not stay hidden.
Because that is what the breaking does:
It opens me.
& Then I am open
and open hurts more than closed but
closed is harder for
ever.
Open is only harder for
now.
It will pass (the hardness) &
My heart knows it.
Already it passes ...
The blood and water flow off and
there is only the rawness of open
& I am exposed.
My heart beats in the open
Loud
Strong
Unstoppable
So much power
And I can't stand it.
I watch, helpless
Feeling helplessly &
Holding it without knowledge of the next
beat.
It doesn't care
about my helpless-ness.
It is so strong.
It is the strongest heart I know.
And sometimes I am afraid
when I can see it
and sometimes I am grateful
when I can feel it
and sometimes I am stronger
when I can hold it
Open.
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