I really loved him.
I never found myself hating the skin under his fingernails like I hated yours. I really loved him without judging right(ly) from his wrong, without believing his worst, while knowing it (I never knew yours: you liar!) I loved him: being dumb, mute, sightless, faithless in love: being nothing, not like I was nothing to you. I loved him: not missing what I gave, not hoping to learn anything, not hating what was left. I really loved him a long time, trying not to find him, trying not to show myself exposed by you. I loved him secretly without seeking my reward or taking my revenge as you took yours. I loved him sadly, wishing for his truth, carrying my bloodied heart, believing in his goodness & despairing of mine, enduring my memory ... - Between you & me, I want less than the estranged tip of a lizard's tail, twitching with remembered life.
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