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The children of other Gods

...

11/19/2018

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I couldn't love you because of my fear.

Everything I ever learned growing up taught me 
that I couldn't love the children of other Gods.

Other gods were wrong &
Dangerous.

And so I feared you, even as my heart accepted you.

And then I lost you in my fear:  drowned
you out.
Buried you 
under prejudice and preconception,
lit the match &
ran.

Too close. 

​I didn't run far enough & 
like Lot's wife; I turned to look, &
there you were,
burning & 
it was my fault.

& I'm sorry.

& I know I can't make it better by saying it.

But I want to say to say it, 'cause it makes me human again &
you not burning &
me not turned to salt.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
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    Charmaine Muller

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  • Blog
  • Goodbye Songs & Thank-you Notes
    • The End >
      • Shedding
      • Walking
      • Thnking of You
      • My Secret
      • Happy Birthday!
      • So?
      • Goodbye!
    • Other Endings >
      • Forever
      • Losing
      • Thank You
    • Neverendings >
      • Old city-friend
  • I sleep, I dream
    • Dreaming >
      • Night-life
    • My Planet >
      • Being Brave
      • One
    • Nostalgia >
      • When I grow up
      • First Bounce
  • Its Inside-Out & Orange
    • Inside >
      • Day-dreaming...
      • Visitor
      • Ownership
    • Out >
      • Ashes to Ashes
      • Tomorrow
      • Ouch
  • You, Me & the Others
    • You >
      • Tigger
      • You're lying
      • Not talking
      • The Children of other Gods
    • Me >
      • Sleeping in the half-light
      • Body Parts
      • Home
      • Underwater
    • The Others >
      • Hard Places
  • My Heart
    • Broken >
      • Broken-hearted
      • chest pain
      • Eating Tears
      • Shame
      • Dead
      • Heartbroken (Why?)
    • Soft >
      • Softness & Darkness
      • Dear Heart,
      • A love song
      • Voice
      • Found
    • Believing >
      • Faithless
      • October, 11th
      • Kneeling & Crying
      • Beat
      • "Fear" or "Following my heart."
  • Homeland
    • Heaven
    • Once
    • Ownership: A memory
    • fuer Strasbourg
    • Things
  • Colour
    • Grey >
      • Reason
  • About
  • Contact