Being brave

Oh! to be brave
enough to open to
all that I fear now; to
everything I used to
fear

multiplied by experience and
petrified through the ages of
my dying days - my living to
death.  Oh! to open!

now to all that once threatened to
steal my innocence and
succeeded, through my fear,
in murdering more than

my unguilt:
my love lying offered-up on its cold-
stoned heart, ​​​​​​​​​​​​​moving
only when prodded hard
& then

only because I shudder.  Dig!
With half-hope & memory​​​​
I stab at the corpse
of my soul-self

to feel inside my chest
something other than
cold & colder; desperate
not to show that cowardly face

with eyes closed
to myself
(in the mirror),
to God reflected
(in my eyes),
to You revealing me
(in yourself),
to unreflected Life, dazzlingly
(full!)

Oh! to be brave enough
to open my eyes.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​
​​

from 'My Planet', in I sleep, I dream